“Conversation”

Me-to-God:

Where shall I look for reassurance of your love?
Every cloud in the sky is of your design;
the moon and stars flew hither on your breath,
the sun a molecule of fire from your throne –
yet none of them bear a fingerprint.
Not one of them is marked by bumps and grooves
and curls of tender caress.
The sun and the angels both are pure light;
the heavenly beings and bodies all glow,
but none of them are of dust and of air,
none of them are of earthy, gritty stuff –
of breath, blood and sweat – You care
for us, the dusty, weather-worn and small,
not glorious, but placed in rank near all
the wonders, angels, gods of life and light;
You’ve crowned us with your glory in your sight.

God-to-Me:

I will not promise you an easy life,
I will not shield you from all pain,
but woe to those who delight
in your suffering.
Their gleaming joy I will swiftly trample;
with a mighty roar I will storm their boasts.
My face is ever turned toward you –
tear for tear, I match your weeping.
I will be angry, fiercely angry
at the joy of your oppressors,
for how dare they pierce your heart
and laugh with glee!
Though I have yet allowed your trials
it is crucifixion to me;
you are my loved one, loved so dearly,
and I promise: you will be free.

The Inspiration:
Psalm 7:6-8 – “Arise, O Lord, in your anger; rise up against the rage of my enemies. Awake, my God; decree justice. Let the assembled peoples gather around you. Rule over them from on high; let the Lord judge the peoples. Judge me, O Lord, according to my righteousness, according to my integrity, O Most High.”
Psalm 8:3-5 – “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place; what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”

Written Oct. 2014, Emma Dumitra.
Photo credit: Nicole Rook. 

“Your Jesus” by The Beautiful Due

This is an awesome poem I came across about who Jesus is (or isn’t). Have a read and explore this blog because it’s kind of nifty.

the beautiful due

I’m sorry but I cannot accept your Jesus.

Your Jesus is eternally afraid of things

like movies and sex and naked questions.

You’ve wrapped him in a perpetual robe of

white scripture that’s clearly too tight, and

you never let him walk without chaperones

(commonly referred to as followers).

Your Jesus is an everlastingly entitled,

pedigreed general of class warfare.

Over the years splinter groups have tried to

crucify your Jesus, yet you just keep working

your resurrection magic on that shell.

But know this – the hope is still alive, that one

of these tries the impostor will die, for good.

Then the world can watch in wonder at the one

who spins the leaves like a million chimes,

and sings a much quieter song.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“The Darwinism Faith”

We see a world of suffering in life;
in our own equal smiles are open gaps.
We cry out in response to every strife,
“The giant scale of justice has collapsed!”

But whence that notion comes from – can we say?
For justice is not Darwinism’s cry.
Although the lines have blurred so much today,
the theory of randomness must die.

Our scientists, they talk about machines
when they describe complexities inside;
our atoms, quarks, and DNA, and genes, —
Machines, by definition, are designed.

We think there was a bang – what was the cause?
And how did human consciousness evolve?
How can there be a picture no one draws;
a riddle with no maker there to solve?

Blind faith is not a thing to trust from birth,
but give yourself no peace of heart or mind
until you’ve searched the heavens and the earth
for honest truth – and then trust what you find.

OK, quick disclaimer: The internet debate on creation vs. evolution is boiling over, and this is not supposed to be a severe contribution or argument that bashes evolution and calls everyone who believes in it stupid. This is poetry. All I want to do is to make you think. There are gaps in the creation theory. There are gaps in the evolution theory too. Both take a lot of evidence and a fair bit of faith to believe in. On both sides there are haters, and on both sides there are honest people who just think it makes sense. I’m far more strongly on the creationist side because I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I believe the theory of evolution has merit, for sure, but I do not believe in randomness. I’m not here to tell you I’m right; I’m just here to share my thoughts with you and to challenge you to think about what you believe. Feel free to respond in the comments on this issue, but please do it gently. Thanks!

Poem written September 2012, Emma Dumitra.
Image from http://www.art-reproductions.net. 

“The Christmas Culture”

…is everywhere.
And I simply
cannot find
Jesus.

I lost him at the mall, I think.
Or maybe as I walked past
the many, many Christmas lights.

We all drive hastily,
shop wastefully,
light candles only when
the day is done.

The Christmas culture…

…is everywhere.
And I lose him every year.
Between shopping
and the ads, the ads, the ads
(and have you ever thought
how much money they make telling children
to get
and adults to give?)

He’s gone again, I think.
Simply tired of this mess, this mess.

The Christmas culture…

…is everywhere.
And maybe they stole Christmas from us,
( – the ads, the ads, the ads – )
but what else can they take?

I’m still wrong, and as long
as that is true
we’ll find Jesus in places
unlikely.

He’ll be helping the sales girl
just ready to go home,
or the young mom driving children
afraid of the road,
or the man who spends money
because he cannot spend time,
or anyone crying his name
one more time…

Where is Jesus?
Immersed in our mess,

and he told me
that there’s no other place
he’d rather be.

Emma Dumitra.
Image from http://www.allsave.com.

“Definition – Who am I Today?”

Everything used to define me.

My relationships…
Gotta measure up! If they disagree, then
I have to change my mind,
my own opinion, and I need them to love me.
I need to be loved so do whatever it takes.
Freak out because that’s what teenagers do.
Hormones. Emotions. Yeah…
Family needs to be taken care of so I’ll do that.
Friends think I need to have more fun? OK. I’ll do that.
Enemies… even they care? And I need everyone
to be my friend. Hello, Miss Popular!
Sorry, wrong number.
And everything needs to matter so I’ll change.
I’ll change myself for you because I need to be loved.
You like sunflowers? Guess what my favourite flower is?
Now I feel bad. Everything matters! Nothing matters!
Who am I today?

My body…
I’m too short, should I try heels?
Should I wear shorts today? I’m ugly. My face is puffy.
How much should I eat? How much should I weigh?
Pig out – then hate myself. Not eat. Curl up in a corner.
Exercise even though I hate it – then love it.
Dark skin… thick eyebrows. Wear makeup?
Be myself – who is myself? Dye my hair?
Change this, change that… I like myself today.
Ignore the media with my head, but not with my heart.
Exercise!!! I want to look like her!
Guess who complimented me today! Am I prettier?
Shorts? Dress? Too low-cut? Not wearing that!
Paint my nails? Cut my hair? Generally dissatisfied.
Who am I today?

School…
I need good grades – straight As? Got ’em!
Beat her by one percent! Oh yeah!
Do work, do work, do work! It has to be perfect!
I have to be perfect! Practice my instrument
and I feel like a god today!
Above the clouds, but I hate that teacher.
Complain about this and that and those people.
I’m not like them.
Then, don’t study so I’ll be like them. I want to be like them.
Set goals and nothing can get in the way. Nothing!
Should I try my hardest for everything? Risk a burnout?
Sure! No way! I don’t know. Try again.
I don’t feel like doing homework – so don’t. Ha!
Take that, Education! Who needs you?
Freak out because it was almost an A!!
Make myself stupider to prove I don’t care.
Who am I today?

The future…
I need to figure everything out right now!
What classes am I taking? What’s my life plan?
Figure it out, stupid! Why aren’t you prepared?
Google universities… I’m definitely going to Harvard.
Work harder to earn a scholarship because
I need, need, need to make a name for myself!
Change my mind – is that allowed??
Panic because nothing makes sense and Google is confusing.
Make lists and more lists of hobbies and life plans.
Get a PhD? Get married? Have kids? World travel?
It’s all mapped out – today I do this, next year that,
in ten years this and I am not retiring at 65, no way!
Who am I today?

The past…
All those bad things are still here. Not disappearing.
Not anytime soon.
What if this curse is handed down from generations?
I can’t change. I’m stuck being the same day after day.
Okay, so just mope. Sit under my cloud.
It’s kinda nice down here – don’t try to understand me.
Obviously if I was scared as a kid, I still need to be scared now.
Nothing’s changed. Am I stuck?
And all the places I’ve been don’t really matter now –
do they? ‘Course they do. I’m not getting out of this one.
Every past failure has to keep up of course – joining the
freaky things hiding under my bed – in my closet.
Sometimes I’m still seven in my mind – and nothing,
I repeat, nothing has changed.
Who am I today?

My fears…
Scared of heights so I’m definitely not climbing
that mountain – or that one. Nope.
What if I’ll never be loved? Push myself – do anything.
Scared of the dark – still?! – yeah…
and I am not taking that risk. So not worth it.
Is it worth it? Whatever. I’m too scared.
Maybe I don’t believe enough – need pixie dust.
Hide my fears of job interviews and unknown situations,
pretend it’s not there and dream of it at night.
And that nameless thing in the corner that freaks me out?
Not even gonna go there!
Not willing to do anything that makes me look stupid,
in any way – now, to run or hide or freeze?
Who am I today?

Today,
none of those define me.

Today,
none of those are me.
I don’t believe the lies today.
I’m not trapped by the illusions today.

Today,
only one thing defines me:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

Today,
I am Hidden in Christ, the Desire of my Heart.
I am loved.
I am beautiful.
I am enough.
I am at peace.
I am free.
I am brave.

Today, like any other day,
I am okay.

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness,
faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the
Lord out of a pure heart.” -2 Timothy 2:22

Emma Dumitra.

“The Two Assemblies” – A Salvation Story

Fear and Despair assemble in the Heart;
hold court with Doubt upon Wisdom’s grave.
Praise and Worship lie locked behind bars –
set them free, leave them be
to roam about with Peace again.
Justice is under new scrutiny
as Doubt, imperious, takes the Throne
and Fear holds a court of its own.
Deception cleverly fills in the gaps
of Sin’s sunken teeth and invisible traps.
But nails of a Roman Cross rise from the mud
and outline the flaws of Sin’s hold with blood.
It is written on every shard as it falls;
between Earth-Shaker’s music
the Sinner’s voice calls.
Now quakes the Assembly; no Fear holds its own
as a Heavenly Host envelops the Throne.
Justice sentences both Sin and Guilt
as with Garments of Praise the Heart is rebuilt.
Understanding and Wisdom hold hands as they come
and behind them comes Patience who has waited so long.
Then the Cross crashes into the Heart like a song
and divides and conquers the clamouring throng.
The wooden shards have pierced Despair,
and Darkness dissolves; now a River flows there.
The new Host assembles and here they all stand:
precise are both Patience and Self-Control.
Faithfulness hereby remembers all things
and with God’s companion, Wisdom, sings.
Joy bursts forth like a firework and dances
on a new grave now inscribed with this:
“Here lies the Law, here died the Sin.
Here fell every one that on Him was laid.
And may they never rise again.”
Now the way is prepared, but the door is yet locked.
The Heart is yet silent and lacking in love
until Prayer awakens to open the door.
Like a drawbridge, so lowers the Cross itself
and prepares the way for Salvation to dock.
The sound on the outside is heralds and trumpets,
then a gentle Voice is heard, and a knock.
A Prayer breaches the chasm wide
as the Sinner’s Heart lets Salvation inside.
Blinded by glory, the Assembly falls down
for before the One coming every virtue must bow.
The Great One is flanked on the left and the right:
quiet Hope holds a candle
and with something like sight
leads Faith by the hand who is blind.
Then, scorning the shame of the Cross,
crowned with thorns and the mockery
of many a Sinner who held not his tongue,
adorned with scars, enters LOVE,
and rightly the One who is LOVE takes His place.
The still Human Heart with joy starts to race.
Gone is every flaw and the ashes of every grave.
The Sinner has become a Saint, for LOVE came to save.
This new perfection none can mar,
but sometimes Sin still knocks at night –
Salvation unchanged, but virtues fall asleep;
new ashes obscure and now Fear creeps back in.
Sometimes Faith and Doubt can hold hands or grapple.
Sometimes Doubt is not followed by Sin.
LOVE announces, “Ask your questions,
for my love accepts you now.
It is every good thing without scorn.
Come, and I will take you to your place.
Only LOVE knows how to truly love;
here you are the righteous dawn to me.”
So speaks LOVE to the Human Heart.
“Come into my court and question all you want.
I assure you, my love will stand!”
Then Patience consoles, “It may yet take a while,
but eternity is on our side.
Salvation and LOVE are unconditional!
Come wait with me in the court of LOVE.”
The Human Heart grows faint with this love.
The Human Heart grows warm and awake,
though Doubt still knows what it can take.
But Hope and Faith are sentinels and speak:
Amid the noise of many courts, the Soul gives ear…
“We could all speak to you, one at a time,”
– Hope’s quiet voice ignites LOVE’s fire –
“and tell you the glory of looking on LOVE.
Between a man and a woman
or a father and child,
love in its truest form is always right
and no virtue is right without LOVE.
Invite LOVE into your house
and the whole Assembly of Virtues will follow.
Listen to them all, but listen first to LOVE.
Cross over to the Cross whenever you doubt
and leave the Assembly of Vices far behind.
LOVE is your freedom for eternity.
This is your Hope – this is who I am.
This is my gift to the human hearts.”
So speaks Hope and then floats to the rafters.
There it mingles with every good thing.
Then Truth with sword and shield comes in.
Truth opens the Word, but reads not of the Law:
“It is no longer yours to obey.”
But the Truth has yet Good News to display.
“You are LOVE’s first love, and LOVE’s last,” Truth says.
“LOVE always protects, always trusts, always hopes.
LOVE never fails you. No, LOVE never fails!
Nothing can tear you and true LOVE apart.”
So comforts Truth the Human Heart –
and the second Assembly, the final court,
choruses “Amen!” and bows low before
where LOVE bled and died for all humankind
and now lives to bleed no more.

Written Spring 2012, Emma Dumitra.
Inspired by 1 Corinthians 13 and Galatians 5:22-25.
Images from: www.sacred-destinations.com, www.123rf.com,
www.lifeisaprayer.com.

“Unbreakable as Anything”

I fear
that we are as unbreakable as anything,
that we only find
a fragile strength in our stillborn sky,
that the mountains
are violent sleepers.

The speckled indigo heavens sigh
upon my fear.
Your tender eyes and rainy smile
unbreakable as anything.

I fear
that if we’re about to die
the sesame seeds become meaningless;
that memories exist
simply for the taking.
But You are not
as anything.

Inspired by Psalm 121.
Written July 2012, Emma Dumitra.
Photo credit Nicole Rook.

“Pattern Peace”

My thoughts align
in simple rhymes
of reason and equation.
I bend my words
and they resist,
but I make them beautiful.
To tell my tale, I oft desist;
out of fear, I oft desist.
You mold the leaves
and sculpt their time
on the pottery trees of creation.
You bend my life
and I resist,
but You make me beautiful.
As You called the world to order
so my thoughts I call in line.
In Your mathematical music
I find a pattern peace.
Upon Your solid rock
my flowing river finds release.

August 2012, Emma Dumitra.
Image from quilting.about.com.

“Radio Waves”

Graceful chicken scratch
on an empty page.

Straight lines
to a silent pen,
catching radio waves.

Whisper away
as I tune in again.

Whisper away
between now and then;
in my ambiance
remain.

Written January 2012, Emma Dumitra.
Based on an Anchor Devotional: “A Tuned-in Heart” http://www.haventoday.org/a-tunedin-heart-dv-3714.html
Image from stock-clip.com.

“Between Battles”

Breathing soldier, between battles,
mend your armour now,
stay strong.

Every chain in your armour
sustains you now.
Speak out
every word of God.

Breathe the links that hold
your heart in hands
of mesh and gold.

And solid stands your new resolve;
your sword in hand
as times revolve.

Keep breathing, soldier between battles.
Mend your armour now.

Stay strong,
it won’t be long.

Every chain in your armour
holds you now
till the enemy is gone.

Written July 2012, Emma Dumitra.
Image from paganus.cghub.com.